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bjpumpindogg
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Joined: 07 Dec 2007
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The Godfather, accompanied by his attorney, walks into a room to meet with his accountant. The Godfather asks the accountant, "Where's the three million bucks you embezzled from me?" The accountant doesn't answer. The Godfather asks again, "Where's the three million bucks you embezzled from me?" The attorney interrupts, "Sir, the man is a deaf-mute and cannot understand you, but I can interpret for you." The Godfather says, "Well, ask him where the @#!* money is." The attorney, using sign language, asks the accountant where the three million dollars is. The accountant signs back, "I don't know what you're talking about." The attorney interprets to the Godfather, "He doesn't know what you're talking about." The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to the temple of the accountant, cocks the trigger and says, "Ask him again where the @#!* money is!" The attorney signs to the accountant, "He wants to know where it is!" The accountant signs back, "Okay! Okay! The money's hidden in a suitcase behind the shed in my backyard!" The Godfather says, "Well, what did he say?" The attorney interprets to the Godfather, "He says that you don't have the guts to pull the trigger."
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| Mon Apr 21, 2008 2:19 pm |
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bjpumpindogg
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Joined: 07 Dec 2007
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A little boy goes to his father and asks 'Daddy, how was I born?' The father answers, 'Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said: Scroll down...You'll love this .... 'You've got a Male!' (mail)
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| Tue Apr 22, 2008 12:37 pm |
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bjpumpindogg
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Joined: 07 Dec 2007
Posts: 76
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One day a prostitute asked a plastic surgeon to make another hole for her.The surgeon was suprised and asked why? the prostitute answered that business is good,and she wants to open another branch!
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| Wed Apr 23, 2008 8:03 am |
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bjpumpindogg
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Joined: 07 Dec 2007
Posts: 76
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A woman wanted to reach her husband on his mobile phone but discovered that she was out of credit, she instructed her son to use his own phone to pass across an urgent message to his daddy who was on site. After Junior has called, he got back to Mommy to inform her that there was a lady that picked up Daddy's phone the 3 times he tried reaching Dad on the mobile. She waited impatiently for her husband to return from work and upon seeing him in the driveway, she rushed out and gave him a tight slap. Then she slapped him again for good measure. Neighbours rushed around to find out what the cause of the commotion was. The woman asked Junior to tell everybody what the lady said to him when he called. Junior: ''The subscriber you have dialed is not available now. pls dial again later.
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| Fri Apr 25, 2008 11:47 am |
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bjpumpindogg
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Joined: 07 Dec 2007
Posts: 76
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A Nursery one student in a danfo bus from school was reciting the days lesson at school, it went thus: if my father is a cock and my mother a hen, i will be a chick if my father is a lion and my mother a lioness, i will be a cob if my father is a king and my mother a queen, i will be a prince etc, etc. The bus driver was irritated by the boys 'noise', he shouted at the boy asking him to shut up. But the boy continued. Then the driver shouted; What of if your father is an 'armed robber' and your mother an 'ashawo' (prostitute), what will you be? The boy replied; I will be a 'Danfo Driver'
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| Fri Apr 25, 2008 11:48 am |
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bjpumpindogg
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Joined: 07 Dec 2007
Posts: 76
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Questions You Would Never Guess the Answers!!!
Q: What is the similarity between men and rats?
A: Both keep searching for new holes.
Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5- days and if it doesn't come, it means you are in big trouble.
Q: What's the difference between biology and sociology?
A: When the baby looks like his dad or mom, then it is biology. When the baby looks like the neighbor, then it is sociology.
Q: Doctor: You look so weak & exhausted. Are you having 3 meals a day as I have advised?
A: Lady: Doctor, I thought you said 3 males a day.
Q: Girl friend & boy friend go for a movie. In the dark, a mosquito enters the girl's skirt. Guess where it would have bitten?
A: The boy friend's hand.
Q: Tarzan and the animals went to the river to take a bath. Tarzan removed his clothes. All the animals laughed. Tarzan asked "Why"?
A: The animals told him. Your tail is in front".
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| Mon Apr 28, 2008 6:12 pm |
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bjpumpindogg
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Joined: 07 Dec 2007
Posts: 76
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Atiku and El-Rufai are flying on the presidential jet. OBJ looks down and says: "I can throw down a N1,000 note and make one person happy. ATK says to him "I can throw down two N500 notes and make two people happy. El-Rufai laughs at them and says: "I can throw down five N200 notes and make five people happy. the pilot looks at the co-pilot and tells him: "such arrogant people! I can throw three of them off the plane and make 150 million people happy
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| Mon May 12, 2008 8:08 am |
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bjpumpindogg
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Joined: 07 Dec 2007
Posts: 76
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Two boys stole a bag of fruits and ran to the nearest cemetery to share the loot. As they were scaling the gate of the cemetery, two oranges fell and were left behind at the gate. A drunk man on his way from a local bar was passing near the cemetery gate and heard the following -One for me, One for you!! He immediately sobered up and ran as fast as he can to the local priest. Father James come with me and witness God and Satan are sharing corpses at the Cemetery- He said. They both ran back to the cemetery gate and the voices continued- One for me One for you!! Suddenly one of the voice said Let's get the two at the gate (meaning the Oranges that fell). One of the Pastor's shoes is still at the cemetery as at the time you are reading this.
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| Wed May 21, 2008 8:59 am |
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bjpumpindogg
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Joined: 07 Dec 2007
Posts: 76
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A boy was at table for his breakfast and asked the grandma, where his mom and dad was. The granny replied that they were still in bed! The boy smiled, ate his breakfast and went to play. At lunch time the boy returned and asked granny the same question. They are still in bed, the granny replied. The boy laughed again, had his lunch and went to play. At dinner time he returned. Where is mom and dad? They are still in bed, grandma replied. The boy burst into laughter for the third time. Grandma could not bear it any more, what is wrong with you, each time I tell you your parents are in bed, you burst into laughter? The boy explained: Last night daddy came to my room and asked for Vaseline. I gave him Super Glue!!.....
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| Fri Jun 20, 2008 11:29 am |
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bjpumpindogg
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Joined: 07 Dec 2007
Posts: 76
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Every enemy dancing "yahoozee" in ur life 'will begin to "kolomental", they will "jasi konga" and shout "Why Me o" becos "Gongo Aso" and you will sing "Mobolowon
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| Fri Jun 20, 2008 11:32 am |
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bjpumpindogg
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Joined: 07 Dec 2007
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NA BY FORCE TO MARRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! During a wedding reception; the groom was called upon to give his vote of thanks to his guests and this is what he came up with: I want to first of all thank the Lord Almighty for creating my wife and to also thank the pastor and his wife for lending us their wedding rings. Special appreciation to my landlord who lent us his car. I am most grateful to my boss for approving the loan I used for the wedding. Big thanks to the committee of friends for the appeal fund they raised on my behalf. Also to my brothers wife, thank you for lending us your wedding gown. Am so grateful to the cake designer for the cake. I promised to return it tomorrow morning as agreed. Special thanks to my friends who brought food from their homes to help me... i will return all the plates and food inside intact as u brought them. let nobody touch anything there. .lol
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| Thu Jul 24, 2008 11:27 am |
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bjpumpindogg
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Joined: 07 Dec 2007
Posts: 76
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Pretty funny, eh? ): Two CALABAR WOMEN were waiting at the Gate OF HEAVEN and struck up a conversation. First WOMAN says "How did you die?" Second says "I froze to death". First WOMAN says "Must have been awful." Second WOMAN says "How did you die?" First WOMAN says "I had a heart attack, I knew my husband was being unfaithful so I came home unexpectedly one day and rushed to the bedroom and found my husband alone reading. I rushed to the basement and nobody was hiding there, I rushed to the attic and still no one, and after all that rushing around I had a heart attack and died." Second WOMAN says, "If only you'd looked in the freezer we'd both still be alive!
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| Thu Jul 24, 2008 11:28 am |
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